I think I lost 4 more lbs....

Haha, I say "I think" because I performed a mission-impossible style personal weigh-in today at the gym minutes before my trainer walked in the door. I was so nervous she would catch me "illegally" weighing in; I felt like a guilty kid again who was hiding five cookies from her parents. It was a rush! Anyway, my time on the scale was limited and I was in such a hurry I slid the numbers over with quickness and as soon as I heard the door "ching" alerting me that someone was coming in or going out I jumped off. At any rate- the scale read 277 which is 4 lbs lighter than the last time I weighed myself, so I think I am down four more. I wish I could be excited about this, but the guilt of going against my trainers instructions is baring down on me....HAHAH....who am I kidding! If I weighed myself right- I AM DOWN 4 lbs! Who cares if my trainer didn't want me on the scale- a loss is a loss!!!!!!!!!

I decided to jump on the scale today after talking to my aunt. She is a personal trainer in California who has always been a huge supporter of me slimming down. She has given me programs to follow and nutritional advice- but my lazy ass never caught on (which is why I have a trainer now). Anyway, she encouraged me with words of weight loss wisdom. She said everyone is different, and if I need to see my weight, "get on a freaking scale!" In so many words, I think she was telling me that if I need to see that my work is in some way paying off- I should get on the scale if that's what it takes. She also advised me that I might not like what I see every time I get on....that's a risk I must take. Truth be told though, I am really going to try to wait until my trainer weighs me the next time I get on the scale. Isn't personal restraint a stepping stone to maturity? :-)

Today was a good day, overall. I just cried in my car on the way home from church though. Long story short- as I mentioned in the previous post, I uplifted my life to move to Florida 1 year and 8 months ago. Since I have lived here, I have yet to form a close and meaningful friendship with anyone. My best friend lives in Ohio, and we met in college. He is gay, and my fav person in the whole world. We talk on the phone everyday (usually more than once) and I have never felt more close to anyone on this Earth. He is my best friend! Well anyway, though I haven't grown close to anyone here in FLA, I still was satisfied to have him (and trust me, I am working on getting friends here- through church). He is now working in California for the month training for a new job as a tour guide, and his phone is shut off ($600 bill-probably because of our endless phone conversations). So, we have no contact- for who knows HOW LONG. I am happy for him because he is living his dream; but sad for myself (selfish- i know) because I feel like I have lost my friend (at least for a time being). So, I sort of broke down tonight on my way home from church service. I am just ready to have best friend in my close proximity again. I am used to having a lot of friends and since I have moved to FLA it seems like I have a sign on my head rejecting people from forming close bonds with me. In due time....

Anyway, I hope you all are having a great week. 2 more work days :-)

Hang in there,

Phat Teacher